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General jokes and funnys! 
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:01 pm
Posts: 81
Location: South Carolina
Post General jokes and funnys!
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

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Gary Sayre
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Mastiff puppies at http://www.2ponds.com


Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:47 am
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:01 pm
Posts: 81
Location: South Carolina
Post Re: General jokes and funnys!
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides
off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then
hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his
overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his
stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the
T-shirt from
his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya
doing, Billy Bob?"

"Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an
obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.

"But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in the bedroom
d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to
a tractor."

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Gary Sayre
CEO THC
csayre@thehuntconnection.com

Mastiff puppies at http://www.2ponds.com


Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:41 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:01 pm
Posts: 81
Location: South Carolina
Post Re: General jokes and funnys!
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

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Gary Sayre
CEO THC
csayre@thehuntconnection.com

Mastiff puppies at http://www.2ponds.com


Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:09 pm
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Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 11:10 am
Posts: 11
Post Re: General jokes and funnys!
Redneck Wants to Fight

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.

He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"


Thu Mar 10, 2011 5:44 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:01 pm
Posts: 81
Location: South Carolina
Post Re: General jokes and funnys!
No Gun Hunting
A guy shows up at a cabin where hunters have gathered to
hunt bear. Only he shows up without a gun.
The other hunters are very curious. "How you gonna get a
bear without a gun?" they ask. "Do you have a knife?"
"No," says the guy.
"Do you have a club?"
"No," says the guy. "Don't you worry. I'm gonna get myself a
bear. Just wait right here and see."
The guy leaves the cabin and disappears into the hills for
several hours.
Eventually he happens upon a bear asleep in his den and he
kicks the bear and gets it really angry. As the bear wakes
up, he starts to chase after the guy, so the guy starts
running back towards the cabin.
Finally the hunters hear him running down the hill and
yelling, "Open the cabin door! Open the door!"
They open the door and the guy runs into the cabin and holds
the door open behind him. To the terror of the other
hunters, an angry bear follows close behind, running into
the cabin, too.
Then the guy slams the door shut, and says, "You skin that
one. I'll go get another one."

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Gary Sayre
CEO THC
csayre@thehuntconnection.com

Mastiff puppies at http://www.2ponds.com


Fri Mar 18, 2011 8:24 am
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Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:01 pm
Posts: 81
Location: South Carolina
Post Re: General jokes and funnys!
A good ole Arkansas boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that? There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.
She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house.

He heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out to him, "What are you doing?"

His brother replies, "I'm fishin. What does it look like I'm a doing?"

His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from Arkansas a bad name, makin everybody think we is
stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"

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Gary Sayre
CEO THC
csayre@thehuntconnection.com

Mastiff puppies at http://www.2ponds.com


Fri May 20, 2011 9:38 am
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